This little one-shot ("one-shot") (""one-shot"") ("""LEIIHATEYOU one-shot""") was the beginning of what will be my end, some day. It was only supposed to be an inside-joke ridden one-shot for Leila who had joked about wanting someone to write an Orlando Bloom/Leila fanfic for one of her Christmas gifts, but then she went stark raving mad and wrote a Sean Biggerstaff-fic to get me back. And then we both went insane. So here we are.
(Orli is short for Orlando, by the way. That's okay if you didn't know that, though. I didn't know either when Leila first told me, and immediately thought of octopuses.)